Brit Problems. The Toaster Edition.
For ages now I’ve been meaning to vent my frustrations but never quite getting around to doing it. This morning however, my hand was forced when, from out of nowhere, I was confronted with a fire in the kitchen. Welcome to Brit Problems, The Toaster edition.
FYI I do not keep the toaster outside in the rain. You can clearly see which side the fire started. RIP Waffles.
I’ve had this particular toaster for well over a year. My previous toaster was a Tefal and did a sterling job, I was just fed up with it and fancied a change, does that make me a bad person? Maybe. Anyway, I ordered a different shape this time and looked forward to it’s arrival. From the moment I put that first bit of bread in there I knew we were not going to get along.
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We all have our morning routine right? Part of my routine is to throw two pieces in the toaster, set to toast and then I put the younger daughter’s hair in bunches or plaits. Upon completion of said hairstyle up pops the toast, out comes the Nutella and youngest starts scoffing. (PS. Do-gooders, of course I wash my hands)*** With the introduction of our new toaster the routine has just never been the same and now starts my day off with a growl at an inanimate appliance.
I wonder if, when the new appliance boffins at ANY of these companies that actual design and make toasters EVER talk to bread makers OR, here’s a thought, have an ACTUAL piece of bread at said meeting and design the toaster, and again this is just a thought, around the SIZE OF ACTUAL PIECES OF BREAD?????
I was, at one point, considering a life exclusively forced to eat Milkroll just so I wouldn’t have to turn the piece of bread upside down to toast the 1 inch that sticks out of the bloody toaster. I had an idea at work one day that maybe I could fit the bread in on it’s side. Nope.
Please, if anyone knows anyone that works at Breville, ask them to get in touch with me to hire and promote me to chief designer immediately because, and trust me here, I know what the people want! We want to leave our thick, fresh Warburtons to pop out of our toasters, fully toasted from end to end, and to be met with the greatness that is Lurpack and consumed without a second thought only to repeat itself the next day and the next day and the next day. It’s our right as British citizens to have the toast we deserve.
I’m glad I’ve got that off my chest.
***don’t
