It’s the old adage, but time really does fly. In September, I see my gorgeous baby girl off to secondary school. She got through the painful process of her 11+, and is now preparing for her new school, of course this is a new thing: The worry of secondary transfer.

It’s funny, neither her or I had been looking forward to her secondary transfer, but increasingly as the time crept up, you could see she was slowly outgrowing the wonderful primary school she attends: It was subtle, but the signs were there. There are some changes coming, I’ve got to say, I am slightly apprehensive about some of them.

the worry of secondary transfer

– She’ll be making her own way to school (no mum’s taxi here!), and generally the bus is the easiest way to get there. However, we all know that public transport can occasionally let you down, therefore I am slowly making sure she knows all the alternative routes to and from school via train and tube!

– School uniform: Having had a school with no official uniform, wearing a strict school uniform is going to be testing. Her ability to pick clothes up is still under development, as is the ability to lie out clothes ahead of the next day …

– Homework is a dirty word in this household, the mere mention of it reduces the tween to tears, let alone getting her to do it, how she’s going to cope with daily homework, I am not entirely sure.

– I’ll be entrusting her with a set of house keys; I’ll obviously be leaving replacement keys with the neighbours as well. I can well imagine her losing the keys / not taking the keys / not able to open the front door in the first few weeks.


– It’s a much longer day, I am hoping she can keep up in that first term and not miss her stop on the way home because she’s asleep from pure exhaustion!

– For a while longer, I would like her to keep on thinking that cartwheeling at any given time, in any given situation is still an acceptable thing to do.

– I do worry about her encountering mean girls. I came out of secondary school with a lovely group of mates (we’re still friends now!), however there were occasions when it wasn’t all fluffy and light and I distinctly remember lying in the bath sobbing one night after a few weeks of exclusions from other girls. Please don’t let this happen to my girl.


But worrying is what we do as parents and I know this will be a life-shaping experience for her, let’s just hope it’s happy and not too stressful!

I’d love to know how you and your children handled the worry of secondary transfer and if you have any words of wisdom, they will be gratefully received!

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