“Let’s just replace the decking planks on the top of the deck.”
Easter Bank Holiday is the time for DIY, right? I should have known when the only place that had any decking planks was 30 miles away that this was not going to be the weekend I had planned. Still, I was at work so the BF duly went to collect them in his big people carrier which wasn’t quite big enough. The planks were ‘just’ 4.8m long so he ‘just’ bought some breeze blocks and some strapping to make a very dodgy journey back again. We set about ‘just’ unscrewing the planks to find that the screws had funny square shaped heads so we spent a while trying to find the right bit to go on the electric screwdriver that was ‘just’ charging up.
“I’ll just give Pez a ring to give you a hand.”
Pez duly arrives having been highjacked from all his chores and staining his own decking. He ‘just’ pops home to change his clothes and get a crow bar. He also ‘just’ let’s his wife, Lou, know that he could be some time.
“So, let’s just get these old planks off.”
Underneath the deck planks can only be described as something like the Mary Rose when they discovered her… only wetter. ‘Just’ taking off the planks became ‘just’ start again. As there was no timber readily available to make a new frame, and this I know to be quite a big job, but Pez was already there in his working clothes I had a brainwave…
“Let’s just build the new shed instead.”
Having been assured by everyman I had mentioned the shed to that this was a two hour job I thought this to be a good plan. Four hours later and once the discarded instructions were found and actually read the sides were on the base and the roof fitted. We had all ‘just’ about had enough and at 8.30pm we ‘just’ tidied up and went in for some food. We ‘just’ had a quick shower and in my case a bath, and came down to find that the cottage pie that I was ‘just’ warming up in the oven was a burnt offering or as Greg Wallace said on Masterchef last week, “enthusiastically crispy”. We ‘just’ made do with what was in the fridge that needed using up and went to bed.
“Let’s just pop another coat of paint on the shed before we go out for lunch.”
The rain wasn’t due till very late morning so we sloshed a couple of coats on the walls of the shed (clearly I wanted a pretty shed, not just a brown one). The paint was quite thin and seemed to go all over the newly painted (other) deck that the shed sits on, but that means we ‘just’ have to repaint that deck. We then set about getting ready to go out for lunch with friends.
“I’ll just have the one….”
We all know what that meant and included a total pelvic floor failure whilst laughing too much during the egg and spoon race that only I and the equally pissed BF wanted to take part in. I’ll ‘just’ borrow your husband’s trousers to go home in then…
“I’ll just pop up the garden and see ow the shed fared in all that rain.”
The paint was no no longer on the shed but was lying all about it in big cream puddles… I’ll ‘just’ clear up then….
The next morning the weather looked good so we ‘just’ repainted the entire shed.
“Let’s just pop the doors on and put the windows in”
Of course the doors didn’t fit. New bits of wood to change the door frame had to be found. My idea for ‘just’ a hint of an accent colour meant that paint was, yet again, everywhere, and mostly over me and yes, it rained again. Although this time we were prepared and ‘just’ whipped a tarpaulin over the whole shed while what turned out to be ‘just’ an April shower did it’s worst and we ‘just’ popped to Homebase for a suitable hammer for pinning the window panes in. Yes, I have used hammer and window pane in the same sentence…. and it went the way you would expect.
“Just pop the glass in the frame and then tap the pins into the beading to hold it in.”
I had to tap along the pane of glass so as not to break it and the BF showed me briefly what was required whilst he went about making the doors fit. This was a clever move on his part as he then could not be blamed for the 50% breakage rate of glass panes. In my new shed 4 of the 8 panes have cracks in them. I am calling it ‘character’ and ‘individual’ while the BF is calling them ‘broken’. Four hours after we started the shed was finished so we ‘just’ tidied up , yet again. We had supper and the BF went home for a rest. It had been a long weekend and most of it had been spent with my shed…
I ‘just’ have one more thing to add… I JUST LOVE MY NEW SHED JUST DON’T MENTION THE MARY ROSE!!!